Dementia/Alzheimer's journey times 2

For those of you that have gone through a Dementia and/or Alzheimer’s journey once I am going to say I know that it can be a challenge, because we have been through that and we understand the challenges. We aren’t going to say that we know what you went through because every journey is different, and we have seen that. What we have been through is two different journeys and both of them have been so different.

The dementia/Alzheimer’s journey is going to be different for everyone because there are signs that we may have missed and different routes that this journey is going to take moving forward. I know for example we have gone through two journeys, and both have been entirely different. We went through a journey through Covid that was extremely fast, and it went from first being diagnosed with dementia in a March and then losing my dad in the January of the next year.

The first diagnosis was frontotemporal dementia (FPT) and that is something it can happen rather quickly and that is what we experienced. We went from having a dad that was able to manage his life and understand all the different things to someone that wasn’t able to understand that we were there visiting him. My dad was always hungry no matter what much food he had because his system wasn’t able to communicate to itself that he had food, so he just wanted to keep eating.

The second diagnosis of dementia wasn’t fullly diagnosed until very later in the journey because no doctor wanted to say that my mom had dementia because that was something they didn’t want to sign on a dotted line about. The basic thing we heard was given my mom’s age she was just old, and all the symptoms pointed to her age. What is funny about all of this is during all this my mom was living on a memory care floor which was for someone that had dementia or cognitive impairments. She hadn’t been diagnosed formally with any of this until I had to talk with a geriatric nurse who finally said that yes, mom had dementia, and it was recorded as a formal diagnosis.

I had been fighting through the system to figure out what was wrong with my mom because no one wanted to say yes, she had dementia/Alzheimer’s even through she was showing all the signs. If someone is put onto a memory care floor in a senior’s care residence, make sure you ask a lot of questions because they are there for a reason.

One thing to be aware of is that if someone is getting a lot of medial assistance make sure you have got the written/official diagnosis as it can make a big difference with regards to income tax. This at least applies to those living in Canada.

When writing doesn't seem to work

For someone like me who enjoys sitting and writing it can be a challenge when the words just don’t seem to come. Sometimes not writing is because I keep getting distracted on a bunch of other things and that breaks my train of thought, so it takes me longer to get anything achieved and I do get frustrated when that happens. I have found out that there are times when I can just sit and write and lose myself in my writing and then there are times it’s a challenge to even get a few words done. 

Something that I have found sometimes helps me get back to the writing that I want to do is give myself a time limit. This time limit is I need to write for x number of minutes before I can do anything else. I know it sounds a little crazy, but it is amazing how much writing you can achieve when you give yourself that block of time. For me, sometimes it is even 10 or 15 minutes before I can even think of checking email or anything else, but it does work. Quite often that 10 or 15 minutes turns into a lot more writing because I get on a roll and the words then seem to flow. During this block of time, I also try not to think about the punctuation because I can do back after this time and make sure that I have all the commas in the right places.

Another thing that I find helps me get back to the writing level that makes me happy is to put my earplugs in and just let the words flow without all the various sounds around me. I have different earplugs that I use depending on what I want to achieve. I have some earplugs that block out most of the sounds around me and then I have other ones that will block some of the sounds. When it is very windy out, I quite often put the earplugs in just to block out some of the whistling that happens.

When writing doesn’t work it can be a challenge but knowing different things that help you get the writing done that you want to achieve does help. Another thing that I do is change where I am sitting when I am trying to get the writing done because sometimes a different location or a different device makes a big different. I normally do most of my writing on my computer, but I also have my tablet and a keyboard that I use. The different devices can make a difference and sometimes just being away from the multiple screens that I have when at the computer helps a lot.

So, if you are finding that writing doesn’t seem to work maybe try one of these ideas and see if it helps you. I know that these have worked for me and I get back to the writing that I want to do. This entire blog post was written when I was finding it difficult to write so I said 10 minutes and then you can do something else. Well, it was more than 10 minutes, and I was able to get back to writing which makes me happy.

 

Social media and drama

I have been watching a family channel on YouTube, and I have some to realize that both kids that are on the channel need some education on how to manage things. Part of these kids have been home schooled all their life, and their mother doesn’t seem to have the discipline to manage that.

The girl has just started college, and I don’t think she understands the demands on her time because after her fist day it was total drama because there were things that she needed to get done in the next week. She has 5 courses and four of them are online so that means she doesn’t have to sit in a classroom for four of them, but she was complaining because she didn’t know how to manage the courses. Her questions were should I do all of one course, on one day a week or should I try and work on a bunch of them each day. I think part of the issue is because she has been home schooled, they haven’t had to learn about having glasses a couple of times a week depending on the schedule.

The boy that is shown in this family seems to be able to get away with way too much and if he doesn’t want to do the home schooling, she seems to let him get away with it. Of course, letting him get away with not getting everything done isn’t helping him at all and he seems to spend quite a bit of time playing videos games or knee hockey. Once again, the discipline of making sure that school is getting done each day and he is up and ready for school at a specific time doesn’t seem to be happening. He also never seems to clean up after playing knee hockey in the living room, so that to me is also showing that he isn’t learning how to clean up after himself.

Yes, it is a channel on YouTube so I understand that they are paid per views to the challenge but when you have two students that are complaining about having to do homework or schooling why should I continue to watch you. I have now decided that it is time for me to walk away from viewing this family channel because when your children/teens don’t understand the demands on life it is showing that it’s ok for them to behave like this and get away with it.

Watching YouTube channels that only show the drama within a family isn’t what should be happening. Yes, all families are going to have challenges, but you also need to show that the children/teens behave nicely, and they don’t always complain when they are asked to do something. Also, showing children/teens that appreciate things that are done for them is also important.

I am not always available

When you are managing a booth there are going to be times when you cannot just simply walk away from the booth to meet the demands of someone else. What I am trying to explain is when some has taken it upon themselves to try and get possible sponsors or speakers for a community.

I understand that we are always looking for the various sponsors or speakers, but you also have to understand the people that are running or involved in the booth cannot simply walk away from their duty at the booth to talk to someone that you think might be a possible sponsor/speaker.

Last year when we were at the booth there was someone from within the community that took it upon themselves to talk to various booths. At first it was nice when he would come back to the booth to get some to possible scan the person but after a little while it started becoming that he was demanded our time when he had someone that he thought we could talk to.

The outcome of all these conversations what that we didn’t get any possible sponsors or speakers which didn’t help at all. So here we are going into the next year, and this same person has demanded me to give him a list of the people that he spoke to last year. Well, there is a huge problem with that as we do not keep track of when we scan someone and who is doing the scanning. There are times that we are scanning a bunch of people, and it might be at the booth, and it might be somewhere else, but we don’t know where it is happening.

If you want to help, find possible sponsors or speakers and the best thing you can do is to talk to a booth and pick up a business card and give them to me, so that I can get to speak to them when I have time to walk away from the booth. Also, I never said that I would get you a full pass, all I said was I would try and see what happened. If you didn’t get a full pass maybe that is because there were other things that happened that you didn’t see.

Cross stitch - where to start on the fabric

One question that comes up in a lot of groups on-line is: I am new to cross stitch and where do I start the pattern? 

There are so many different spots that you can start a pattern and in a lot of cases the pattern itself can sometimes help you determine where to start it. I have my preference, but it does change depending on the pattern because sometimes I just start in my normal spot.

Here are the standard stops that you can start a cross stitch pattern:

Centre – starting right in the middle of your pattern and your fabric means that if you have cut your fabric correctly you will make sure that the design is centered on the fabric which is a good idea sometimes. Some patterns are best to start in the middle and those are patterns that don’t have stitches close to the edge of the design. Some stitch-alongs will start in the middle so that is where you will need to start unless you wait until your preferred location is released.

Upper left corner – I see a lot of people start here and it is one of the corners that is good to start with. In a lot of cases this means that you will be working from the top down on your pattern and that is a good place to start. This is a good spot to start for some stitch-alongs because they normally provide pages in this layout.

Bottom left corner – this is another spot to start, and it is where I do most of my starts. It means that I can work across the pattern of the design, and I can then if using a scroll frame roll it up as I work. This works good for a lot of patterns except for when doing a stitch-along and the design is released from top down or center out.

Upper right corner – I don’t see a lot of people starting here but there is nothing wrong with starting in the upper right corner and working done. This could be a good spot to start if you have the top rows of a stitch along and the right is where you like starting. Some people that stitch in hand will stitch from right to left, especially if they are right-handed.

Bottom right corner – this is similar to the bottom left corner as it means you can scroll your work up when you finish the lower pages of the design. This has the same benefits and challenges as a bottom left corner start.

Summary

As you can see there are five spots that are generally where you can start a pattern, but it is entirely up to the individual where they start. If you get the pattern stitched on the fabric and have enough fabric around the piece for finishing it, you are doing what is right for you. Knowing where to start a project really does depend on the pattern itself as well as who is stitching it.

 

Why a free SAL isn't a free SAL any longer?

A lot of groups will have a stitch a long which will be free for a specific amount of time but once that time is over it isn’t free any longer.

It is amazing how many people will say that they have missed a couple of the sections that they expect someone to just send them the prices they are missing. Well to put it cleanly, if you are sending parts of a pattern to someone else you are breaking copyright laws.

It may be difficult to tell someone that either that they missed the pieces totally or not they have to purchase the entire pattern, but it is something that needs to be done. A lot of the stitch a-longs (SAL’s) have an end date, and you must understand that once that date is passed that pattern is no long available for free. It is amazing how many times I have seen on Facebook someone that says that “I have missed section x and can someone send it to me.” Well, to make it very simple, no one should be sending you that section because they are breaking copyright laws. I have seen too many messages on Facebooks that have said “I will send you that section.” If you are publicly telling someone t hat you will send them the missing section or sections, you are cleanly breaking copyright laws.

I understand it can be difficult when someone is saying that they are just missing one section of the piece to not immediately figure out how to get them the missing section but we all have to understand that patterns are only available for a specific amount of time and if someone missing the opportunity to acquire the pattern for free we can only provide the information of where to get the entire pattern or let them know that they have missed those sections and there is nothing that can be done to get those missing sections.

I know that I have seen quite a few times that people have said "just message me and I will send you the missing sections". If you are doing that you have now just reported to everyone that you are willing to break copyright laws. I normally will try and let these individuals know that they are breaking the law but I also know that they will probably ignore me and just continue to break the law whenever someone asks for help.

Remember that a free SAL is normally only free for a specific amount of time and if someone is asking for a piece or pieces after that deadline you cannot share those parts even if you think it is just between the two of you. It is still breaking the copyright laws, and you can get into a lot of problem if you are discovered to be providing pattern without the right to do so.

When you are in a group but you aren't within the area

As a moderator of a community group, I have found that so many people don’t understand what within an area means. 

When a group says “We are happy to allow local business owners and content creators to post here for exposure *on Thursdays only* and meeting the following criteria: For business owners – it is a physical business, ongoing service or charitable organization location in and/or at least primarily serving the * area. Or for content creators – the purpose or theme of the content has a significant relation to *. Content considered to be unrelated ads or spam will be removed”. Why do people think they can post and not have their posts removed?

What I have noticed while being a moderator is so many people think that they can post within multiple communities within a region and think they are local for each of the areas. It is very interesting being a moderator within the GTA and people think that areas 30 km is still within the area but is isn’t within the focus group. It can be such a challenge to figure out who is local and who isn’t because people have started hiding their location. As a moderator what I have started to do is when I see you post in the group, I am part of I will also search your name to see where else you are posting. If I find you are posting outside the area and especially outside a few minutes of this group, you will be removed from the group because you are no longer considered local.

I have found that so many people will join multiple groups within a region and not think that someone will do some homework to see there they are located. If you are posting in multiple areas and the rule is your business must be local, know that you are going to be deleted and banned from a number of groups. A number of groups within Facebook do not do automatic approval so you need to understand that someone is going to be checking who you are. I know that that there are lots of groups that if you answer the questions correctly you will be automatically approved but there are still groups that have a human that does the actual approval.

So, if you are posting a job/service within multiple areas please know that there are going to be groups that have someone that will do the occasional search and see where else you are posting. If you are removed from groups because of this understand you cannot complain because you are the person that broke the rules.