Community

I recently had an experience and it showed how quickly a community of people can be built even if only for one day.

My dad had to have cataract surgery and it meant an extremely early day for all of us. We were at the hospital by 6am which isn't normal for any of us. The first thing I noticed that as people arrived to register everyone started acknowledging everyone else. No one knew the next person in the registration waiting area but everyone was friendly. After we registered we said good bye to one couple and found out that they were also going to be in the same area of the hospital as we were going as the wife was also having cataract surgery.

Now this is where the community started to build was when everyone started to arrive in the Eye Centre. Of course sitting in this waiting room meant that everyone was doing to be going through the same procedure and the support person was going to have to be waiting around for their family member to be finished. Most people again acknowledged each other and in some cases some conversations were started.

Once I had my father checked in I was to leave the area but stay close so that I was there to pick him up when the procedure was finished. I of course had my mom and my husband waiting for me downstairs so I went and sat with them for the hour of waiting. Now this is where the community was great, as everyone was waiting they acknowledged the next person even through we didn't know each other. A smile, a wave or even a nod of the head meant we were there for the next person.

The couple that we spoke to at registration were the first one's that were finished and the lady actually came over to talk to be before she headed home. It felt very good seeing that our little community was a caring community. She wanted my mom to know it wasn't a bad surgery and she told me that she had a nice conversation with my dad while waiting for surgery. This couple had the same surgeon as my dad so we will probably see them a couple of times at the office for the check ups.

It wasn't long after this conversation that I got the phone call letting me know that it was time for me to go and pick up my dad. As I walked up I got the waves from others waiting as if to say good bye for now. There were also the smiles to say the waiting is over for you so my waiting must be over soon.

Yes the community may have only been established for a few hours but it really shows that people when facing the same issue can because friends. No we don't know each others names or anything else but we were there for a common reason and like most communities that is the reason for a community. That community is gone now but it did leave a nice foot print.

Remember when you are faced with a common issue a simple smile, wave or nod of a head can mean a lot to the next person.

Taking some time for yourself

Now taking some time for me has been a challenge as I am one of those people that always makes sure that I am keeping everyone else happy. What I was forgetting is that the only way to make others happy was to ensure that I am happy first.

I am not saying that you only think of yourself but what I am saying is you do need to make sure that you set aside some time to do the things you like doing or things for you. What I mean by this is the time to maybe have a manicure or have a haircut. No these aren't big expensive things but they are time for yourself and they can help in making you feel better about things.

Setting aside a bit of time for yourself can make a huge difference in how you deal with others around you. If you continually try and make everyone else happy and don't take time for yourself you will probably have problems just focusing on all the tasks that you have on your plate. The other thing that could happy is you would find yourself frustrated a lot easier than normal. Yes, so that half hour or an hour to yourself sometimes can really help you think clearer.

The other good point about taking that time for yourself is you will feel better in yourself as well. I know that just having a manicure can make such a difference in my mood. I don't get one very often but when I do I know I feel better about things after I have taken that time for me. Of course, you aren't going to be able to take that time right in the middle of some major work but sometimes at least knowing that you are going to do something for yourself makes that job a little easier.

So yes make sure you take some time for yourself because the people around you will also benefit from it. You will feel better about yourself and it will make the tasks ahead a little easier to deal with.

Strollers

Have you noticed that strollers seem to be getting bigger and bigger. I thought they would be staying a smaller size because of apartments, condos and homes being smaller now.

When I have noticed this is more on public transit when people are getting on and trying to turn to go down the mail aisle. The stroller is longer and wider than is really necessary because the wheels seem to stick out the sides so much now that they get in the way. The other thing I have noticed with the stroller size is that people love hanging things off the handles which also make the stroller wider. I understand that people need to use strollers on public transit but it would be nice to have some that don't take up the entire aisle. Strollers don't pay a fare but they are the thing that takes the place of three, four or even five people. The other thing people do is actually take the child out of the stroller and let the child sit in a seat which means that is another spot taken from a paying individual.

Now with strollers on transit the biggest frustration that I have is someone that gets on a bus with a fully loaded stroller and there is no child with them. The stroller is actually being used to move the groceries or sometimes laundry but these people still figure that should be given the same consideration as if they have a child in the stroller. I'm sorry but without a child in the stroller you are just taking up lots of space and aren't entitled to a seat just because you are holding a stroller. If I take a buggy on the bus I don't expect a seat so what is the difference.

Yes stroller are getting bigger and I think the people that are purchasing them need to consider where they are going to be using the stroller. A stroller of one size is great for a runner but that same stroller isn't good for someone commuting each day on public transit.

Please remember when you are using your stroller on transit, it is large and there are others also wanting to get on so try and take up as little room as possible.

Opening doors

Have you ever noticed how people handle doors that need to be opened or are open. I had a lot of fun lately watching people and how they handled going through various doors. Some of the doors were into apartment buildings and others were into restaurants and shopping malls.

The one door handling that I have to say is my pet peeve is someone pressing the button to open the door and then as soon as door starts to open they pull the door open quickly, if you don't need assistance opening the door why did you press the button and not just open the door in the first place. Now another thing with the automatic door open button are the people that hammer on the button thinking that the door will open quicker if they do that. The door won't open any faster because it is made to open slowly to ensure that the person needing the door opened doesn't get hit by the door. I have seen people press the button thinking one door will open and the door they are standing in the way of is the door that ends up opening. The other thing about these doors is if you see someone press the button to use the door don't barge through the open door and block the other persons way.

Now here is something that I really don't like and it is when I pull open a door, unless I step aside I'm not opening it for you to barge through it. I was opening the door so that I could go through it. I had this happen in an apartment building and I actually told off the individual that was trying to push between me and the door that I had just started to open. This person had stood waiting for someone to open the door thinking that the person was opening it for them.

The most interesting is when there are two doors and one of them is propped open and you will notice that most people will aim for that door even if it means that they have to get in other people's way. If there are two doors side by side please try and use the right hand door. Basically use the doors the same way you use the roads in Canada. The right side of the door way is for you so open the right door. Yes, this is a challenge for some of us that are left handed because the left door is a lot easier to open but I still open the right door.

Have you ever watched people enter doors where there are two separate doors, one to enter and one to exit and the exit door has a do not enter sign on it. Watch and see how many people will use that door as an entrance and wonder why they are getting walked into by people leaving the store. These are the people that get really upset when they get banged and figure that they have the right of way.

So here are my tips:

• If you need to use the automatic door button, that is fine but don't hammer on it as it won't open any faster.
• Only walk through a door if it has just been opened if the person doing the opening has stepped out of he way or motioned you to go through the door.
• Use the right hand door if there are two doors.
• Watch if there are separate enter and exit doors because you will probably either get banged or walked into if you use the wrong one.
• Be considerate when going in and out of places.

Yes, doors can be a challenge when entering and exiting building but remember you aren't the only one using the door and you don't know who is watching.