Knowing who you are

Lately, I have spent a bit of time thinking about what makes me happy and what doesn't.  It can be very difficult to face some of the things that you have hidden in the back of your mind for way too long, but it does help.

Being able to accept that things aren't always going to work the way you want is important when you want to make yourself happy.  Knowing that you are going to hit some bumps in the road is another thing to accept.  The outcome can be that you are able to face the things that have bothered you in the past and put them back in the past instead of dealing with them continually.

For so many years, I have been a person that put everyone else before me and never did things that I wanted.  Lately I have started to do things for myself and does it ever feel good.  Having the strength to say that I am important has been something I hadn't done in the past.  Now I am saying I am important, and I need to focus some time on things for myself instead of always for someone else.

Knowing what makes you happy can really make a difference on how you deal with things.  I continue to run into situations that get me frustrated and down, but I know I am who I am.  The situations may set me back a little bit, but at least the setback isn't nearly as far back as it was in the past.  I continue to think of the goals that I have and want to achieve in the future, and now I can say the future isn't so far ahead anymore.

New projects are now on the horizon for me, and I think I am finally able to say I am ready to accept these new projects.

Demanding perfection

I am one of those individuals that has demanded perfection from myself in whatever I do. I am not saying I just need to get something done, I need to have it perfect before I am happy with it. Ok, what I am saying is I basically demand 125% out of myself and a lot of the time 100% out of anyone else.

So, you can see there is a major problem with this thinking, and it is very stressful on me. I was brought up being told if you can't do your best, why do it at all. So, I have developed the need for perfection out of myself and those around me. Over the last little while I have come to realize that 100% isn't always achievable and time will just not allow it to happen. Knowing that I can handle not being perfect has been very difficult for me.

I know that I get really upset sometimes when I can't achieve even close to 100% when I am working on something. I take courses and so often I exceed what is expected on the assignment because I have to do what I think is enough. Currently, I am taking a course, and we are given a word count for our assignments, and it is very difficult for me. I want to write a lot more than I am allowed because I think I need to include more detail before the assignment is good enough.

Yes, I still demand a high level out of myself but have realized that as long as I try my best it is good enough. Trying to be perfect all the time isn't what I try to achieve any longer, as I realize my 100% far exceeded what others expected of me.

So, remember 100% is great but it is very difficult to achieve.

Being a friend

Being a friend means a lot of different things to different people.  A friend can be someone you hang around with all the time, or it can be someone you rarely see.

A friend should be someone that is there for you in good times and bad times.  You should also be there for that friend in both the good and bad times as well.  A good friend is someone you can talk to, and they listen.  This person is also there to support you when you need that support, but is also there to give you the kick when it's needed.

It is amazing when you find friends in ways you never expected.  It can be an online friend who you rarely see or a co-worker that you sit nearby.  Having a friend when you need one is very important.  It is also important to be a friend when you are needed.

Knowing who your true friends are is very important, because you don't know when you could need them.

Just remember, being a friend goes both ways.

Understanding others

Lately I have been extremely busy trying to get a lot of things off my to-do list.  I have also gone through something that affected me personally, so it did take quite a bit of my time and energy.  The personal thing meant that I haven't been as efficient as I would have liked to be, but things do happen that change what you can do and how quickly you can assist others.

This week I have been trying to get back to normal, but I am finding it rather challenging.  Yesterday was when I think I hit the frustration wall.  People are telling me to take it easy, and I will get things done when I can, but in the next breath they are asking for more and more things to get done now.  I understand that part of this is because things need to be passed onto me so that I am aware of them, but if I have answered the question, please don't keep asking me when it will be solved.  I have told you it has been solved, and it is just going to take a bit of time for the effect to finally calm down.

It is so amazing to look at what I have been able to accomplish even in the last few days.  Sure, it isn't as much as I would have liked but at least I am getting small things done.  Now to see what I can get completed today, and then maybe I can say I am getting back to normal.