When "Your Better Half" should not be used

Recently I was in a store which I have frequented for a number of years with my husband and I head something that I didn’t think was appropriate from one of the staff. Both of us were there at the evening and we were not standing today so this one staff said to my husband where is “your other half” and his comment was she is upstairs and you have probably walked by her.

Well, this staff member came upstairs and finally probably after another 10 or minutes finally decided to see me and said to me oh, I saw “your better half” downstairs. This same staff member had walked by me quite a few times before even saying hi to me and I had tried repeatedly to at least get a hello to her, but she seemed to avoid any of this type of recognition. At one point she was within maybe three feet of me and still didn’t see me and there were other times she seemed to be looking in my direction but didn’t see me or just didn’t want to acknowledge that I was there.

Hearing the words “your better half” is extremely bad and the only time “better half” should be said is when it’s from your partner not from anyone outside of the relationship. When you, someone outside the relationship, are referring to someone as “your better half” you are degrading the person you are talking to. You are implying that the other person, is a better person and who you are talking to doesn’t matter. 

What bothered me so much about this comment was I was the main reason that we go to this store, not my husband and I have known this person longer than I have been in a relationship with my husband. Maybe, now what I am seeing is what she currently thinks of me and that is fine because she won’t be getting my business any longer. I am very thankful that she no longer owns the business, and I get along very well with the new owner.

When you are talking to someone that you know both sides of the relationship, please refer to the other person as your “other half” instead of “better half” because when you say better half, you are implying to the person that you are talking to that they aren’t equal to the other person in the relationship to you.

Taking some down time

For a small business owner, it can be a challenge to take some time off when you have clients that need your attention. Something that you must do is try and take some down time when the clients are taking their break. 

For us one of the challenges of working in IT is that most projects that involve working on servers are going to be completed during the business down time which means normally around the Christmas holidays. It is something that we understand and have been dealing with since we incorporated but it is nice when things work out and no client schedules server work during the holidays.

This last Christmas break we found out that all our clients were taking the week between Christmas and New Years off. All the clients were also not going back to work until January 5^th so that was a nice break. What this meant was we were able to have some downtime where, yes, we were available in case of an emergency, but we weren’t having to do the server projects that normally happen.

This past Christmas break was so different for us because it was time where we could do the little around the house projects that haven’t got done and we enjoying doing some of the things that are normally just done on weekends. It was different not having the normal routine for those 11 days, but it was nice as well. The weather wasn’t the best but at least we were able to do some of the other things that we wanted to do.

It felt different not having the server projects, but it was nice as well because it gave us time to stay home and do things that we wanted to do. Now we will see what this coming holiday season will be like, and we will just deal with it as it happens. Knowing that there are years when all clients need help over the holiday season and then times when it is just one or none is something that as a small business owner you have to deal with, and you must be flexible.

Making sure you take the down time when you can be important, and you have to enjoy it when it happens. It may be a little different than you first thoughts but knowing that you are only around for emergencies for a few days is so nice.

Patreon and YouTube Memberships

I am finding that more people are either setting up a Patron account or setting up YouTube Memberships for their YouTube channel. It can get extremely expensive if you were to have the various memberships because if you want some of the benefits.

If you were to join a bunch of YouTube memberships and then patron accounts, it could get very expensive quickly.

Here are some examples of YouTube memberships for people that have FlossTube channels

1. First one
1. $4.49/month CDN

                                                              i.      Benefits are you get a member shout-out on videos

                                                            ii.      Priority replies to comments

                                                          iii.      Loyalty badges next to your name

2. Second one
1. $1.99/month

                                                              i.      Weekly blog

                                                            ii.      Loyalty badges next to your name

                                                          iii.      Custom emoji to use in comments

2. $4.99/month

                                                              i.      All previous perks

                                                            ii.      Twice weekly Vlogs

3. $14.99/month

                                                              i.      All previous perks

                                                            ii.      Twice monthly live stitch with me sessions

                                                          iii.      Quarterly gift charts

 

One of these Flosstuber also have a patreon account so here is one of those with the costs of the patron account as well as a count of other patron accounts that doesn’t have a YouTube membership.

1. First one (also has YouTube membership)
1. $7.50 CA/month

                                                              i.      A day in the life – weekly vlogs, weekly blog post and discord access

2. $14.50 CA/month

                                                              i.      All previous tier benefits

                                                            ii.      Hang out live for filming of Live FlossTube

                                                          iii.      Quarter Patreon Gift chart

3. $22 CA/month

                                                              i.      All previous tier benefits

                                                            ii.      Monthly Zoom chat

4. $29 CA/month

                                                              i.      All previous tier benefits

                                                            ii.      Sneak peeks of upcoming designs

                                                          iii.      Monthly Gift chart

2. Second one
1. $10.50 CA/month

                                                              i.      Monthly PDF small chart

                                                            ii.      Sneak peek of upcoming designs

                                                          iii.      Access to patron only posts, vlogs, and updates

                                                          iv.      Participate in Polls

                                                            v.      5% off purchases on website

                                                          vi.      Early access to purchase fabric via Patreon store

2. $22 CA/Month

                                                              i.      All previous tier benefits

                                                            ii.      One large PDF chart

                                                          iii.      10% off purchases on website

                                                          iv.      Monthly stitch and chat

3. 57.50 CA/Month

                                                              i.      All previous tier benefits

                                                            ii.      2 Fat quarters of fabric send 4 times a year

                                                          iii.      15% off purchases on website

4. $208 CA/Month

                                                              i.      All previous tier benefits

                                                            ii.      20% off purchases on website

                                                          iii.      A yard on Hand dyed linen per month

3. Third one
1. $3.50 CA/month

                                                              i.      Exclusive content and more

What I am trying to show is that Patron memberships and YouTube memberships can cost quite a bit depending on what you want to receive each month as the benefit of being a member. If there are a few designers that you like their designs and you would like their month benefits it is going to cost you quite a bit on a monthly and you need to think about, are you getting the real value for the cost.

I recently received an email from someone that is now changing their Patron benefits and as soon as I looked at the benefits, I quickly said that I would stick with the free Patron membership that I have as the levels where just too much for what I saw as the benefits I would get. Being able to look at the cost and the benefits that you receive is very important because it can help you determine if being a YouTube member or a Patron is worth it.

Each person must make their own decision if they want to be a Patron or a YouTube member and no one can tell you that you should or shouldn’t have a specific membership. For me, I have the YouTube channels that I enjoy and am a member of one of those channels (not cross stitch) and I don’t have any Patron memberships currently but am looking at maybe joining one to just see what the benefits really are.

When things just don't work

There are so many things that everyone would like to achieve and there are times that it is going to work and then there are times when we just need to accept that things might not go the way that we would like them. 

One of my past goals was to get a degree in Business Administration and then I started to look into this program on a part time basis I was nicely informed that all the education that I had in the past was no longer valid because it was too far in the past. So, in a lot of ways that is a very nice way of saying why are you going for a degree when you are older. Well, for some people it isn’t a matter of getting a degree for work it is just a personal goal.

Looking for part time/consulting work – this is something else that I have been trying to investigate and what I have found with every job that is listed no matter where you look, says you need at least one degree and multiple years of experience. Maybe what the job should be looking at is how much experience you have because real life experience can be far better than a degree which is only based on specific textbooks.

Looking at experience is what people should be looking for instead of thinking that a degree is a filter because a degree is paper based and not real life. I understand that I have said that I would like to achieve a degree and part of that is just a personal goal and doesn’t have anything to do with job requirements. It has been a challenge to figure out why I wanted to even think about getting a degree and so much of it is just something that I have wanted to achieve for myself.

Something that I have figured out in the last few years is that colleges/universities are not looking at education and experience for a mature student. They look at how long you have been away from formal education and say you have been away too long so therefore all your education isn’t valid, so you need to start all over again. 

For me what I have found is that education for mature adults isn’t working because unless you have education less than five years ago you are going to have a challenge to get any of your education validated. Individuals that have focused their career moving their position forward have to understand that experience doesn’t count for future education, and any previous education may not count at all.  

If you are a mature individual and would like to try and achieve a degree, please know that you are going to have to start from the very beginning and pay a university thousands of dollars to prove that you know what you know and then learn some new things.

You claim you sent me evidence, where did it go?

As someone that is both an administrator in some Facebooks groups and Moderator in other Facebook groups it is amazing how many times, I have read that someone has sent me evidence to prove something that I have never received it. 

If you are telling an administrator or moderator that you have sent them multiple pieces of evidence to prove your case, please make sure that you have sent it to the person that you are saying this too. Too often an administrator or moderator will receive this type of message only to discover that the person that is say this is sending it to either an entirely different group or someone else that might not be part of the group administration so that isn’t going to help.

There are so many times when someone has tried to tell me that they have sent me evidence and when I ask them to tell me where they have sent the information, they cannot tell me where they sent it. So, if you are trying to spend to an admin or moderator of a group, please make sure that you are sending the information to that person. It would be nice if there was a way to acknowledge that the evidence has been sent to who you think it is being sent too. There are so many times that you can think you are sending a message or evidence to someone and you are sending it to someone that is not relating to the group that you are trying to post to.

I know that I make sure that I check messages through Facebook to ensure that I can see that things that are being sent to me. If you claim that you sent me something I will acknowledge that I have received it especially if it has something to do with a group that I have administer. If you don’t get an acknowledgement that I have received your message it probably means that you haven’t sent it to me, but it has gone to somewhere else.

When you claim that you sent me evidence, please check where it was sent because if I haven’t acknowledged receipt of you message it probably means that I haven’t received your message. So, claiming you sent me evidence without proof that you sent me evidence isn’t a good thing. Next time you tell someone that you have sent them evidence, make sure that you sent the evidence to the correct person.

Why purchasing something out of your country can be an issue

We had a friend that was coming to visit us from outside of Canada, so I thought it was a good time to take advantage of maybe purchasing some yarn and getting them to pick it up for me and deliver it. I knew that I was going to be incurring the exchange rate, but I figured given it was going to be delivered at no delivery cost I was willing to deal with that.

Here are the steps that I took:

1. Emailed the company to make sure that if I ordered it for a local pickup that someone else could pick it up for me.
2. Received an email from the business to let me know that it was possible and there wouldn’t be an issue.
3. Confirmed with friend that they could pick up the yarn for me and it wasn’t an issue.
4. Placed the order and said it was for local pick up knowing that I had already communicated my name and it was going to be picked up by someone else.
5. Received an email from them asking me if I was going to be visiting that location so that I could pick up the yarn. (This is probably when I should have realized this might not work out as I hoped).
6. Sent our friend the information and said that when it was ready they could pick it up.
7. Let friend know that it was ready for pick up and they picked it up for me and looking the receipt confirmed that they got the four balls of yarn that I ordered.
8. Never received a confirmation from the store that the yarn had been picked up.

Here is where I am going to start to provide words of warning. Yes, the yarn was picked up by our friend, and I understand that they are not crafters, so it isn’t up to them to ensure that the yarn was what I ordered. They confirmed based on the receipt it was the order that I had placed and I figured that was all that was needed to be done. Over this last weekend I did receive my order, and I was excited to see four skeins of fingering weight yarn. I ordered two different colours so that meant that I had two of each colour and I had figured out what I would make with each of them.

Once we were home and I could really look at the yarn that I received I saw that there was an issue, I had received 2 skeins of fingering weight of one of the yarns and then 2 skeins of sports weight yarn for the other yarn. This upset me because the person that filled the order was the business owner so that was frustrating because this wasn’t what I ordered. I also confirmed the receipt and the original order to ensure that I hadn’t made the mistake before I reached out to the shop.

Early the day after receiving the yarn I emailed the shop to let them know that what I received wasn’t what I ordered. I understand that there is time difference between our and the shop so I figured I would get it probably within 24 hours of sending the message. I did receive a reply and that was 29 hours after I sent the original message. Here is the message that I received from business owner:

I'm so sorry! That was my mistake. 

Normally I would ship the correct yarn and swap out this yarn, but since this is international, I will instead offer you a discount code for your next order. Hopefully you will be able to use it. I can do international shipping on orders over $150 USD. The last shipment I sent to Canada was about $40 USD for a small package under one pound, so hopefully your deliverer is willing to bring yarn on another visit. 

Please enter XXXXXXXXXX at checkout for 25% off. 

So, what I was offered when it was clearly the owners mistake was 25% off a future purchase, but I also had to purchase over $150 USD to even qualify to receive shipping and also pay a crazy price for shipping. Well, given the exchange rate and the cost of shipping which was also is US dollars I don’t think I will be making that purchase. What this was doing was telling me the only way I could receive compensation for her mistake was to make another purchase of over $150 USD and then pay the postage. I don’t think this is going to happen. I can find locally dyed yarns for a lot lower price.

If you make a mistake you need to figure out a method of compensating the person that incurred the issue and not make them purchase anything else. Do I think that there could be a possibility of another error, yes, I do because I don’t think this owner really checks what she is doing. Our friends probably won’t be coming back here for quite some time and given this isn’t an easy trip I won’t be purchasing from this store again. Will I recommend this store as an online shop, no I wouldn’t because I wouldn’t want someone to have to deal with what I did.

If you are a business that sells to international customers make sure that you have a method of compensating them for your error. You don’t need to compensate for a customer's error, but you should be able to compensate for your error. A discount code for a future purchase of a high value isn’t compensation; it is just please shop with me again.

When you say you are allergic to foods

I recently was listening to a presentation, and the person was talking about being allergic to all these different foods. She never said the type of reaction that she had and later in her presentation she then said, these symptoms were undiagnosed. Well, if you are saying you are allergic to foods make sure that you can identify the symptoms from these reactions and you have been diagnosed with food allergies. 

• Food allergy - symptoms can include a wide range of reactions, such as skin issues (hives, itching, swelling), gastrointestinal problems (cramps, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea), and respiratory issues (wheezing, shortness of breath, a tight throat, or nasal congestion). Other symptoms can include an itchy mouth, dizziness, or a drop in blood pressure. Other symptoms can include an itchy mouth, dizziness, or a drop in blood pressure. These symptoms typically appear within two hours of eating the food

• Food intolerance - symptoms are typically gastrointestinal and include bloating, gas, abdominal pain, and diarrhea. Other common symptoms can also include headaches, fatigue, irritability, and rashes. Symptoms may appear within minutes to up to 48 hours after eating, making them hard to pinpoint, and are often dose-dependent

So, quite a few people will say that they are allergic to specific foods when it is an actual food intolerance and that can get very confusing when people are trying to deal with actual food allergies which could impact their life. It can be very difficult to explain to someone the difference between a food allergy and a food intolerance but when you see someone that as a food allergy attack you will understand the difference.

You cannot self-diagnose food allergies yourself especially if you are having issues with your throat closing. If your throat is closing, that is when you need to have allergy tests to figure out what is wrong and what foods you are specifically allergic to.

The presentation that I was watching was talking about stress and burnout and yes, they can impact allergy symptoms. Stress can cause or worsen allergy symptoms by increasing inflammation and triggering the release of chemicals like histamine. This can manifest as skin issues such as hives, which are itchy, raised welts that may appear on the face, chest, or arms and can also worsen existing conditions like eczema and psoriasis. Stress can also intensify respiratory symptoms like nasal congestion, sneezing, and difficulty breathing. 

So, when you say you have food allergies, please understand what that really means and if you haven’t been diagnosed with allergies get diagnosed. If you are just saying you have allergies it can affect others because people will look at you and how you react to specific foods and they could think everyone will react the same and everyone is different.

Stress can impact how you react to specific foods and it can make your symptoms worse, but first make sure you get diagnosed with food allergies, so you first know what you should be avoiding and how to manage those reactions.

Homeless and Fast-Food locations

It is becoming more common when you go into a fast-food location you will find at least one homeless person taking up either a booth or a large table and sleeping there. It must be difficult to manage this because some homeless can be aggressive while others will just move on without saying anything.

The other issue with homeless and fast-food locations is the homeless use the washrooms as a place to wash themselves, so it isn't such a great location to have to visit if you are needing to go to the washroom yourself. I know that in Niagara Falls especially on Clifton Hill it is an issue at least in the Tim Horton's to find one or two homeless individuals sleeping in booths. Security can only do some much and it might be that Tim Horton's has to request the individuals be removed. I know that when we were there for the Friday for breakfast, security came in and removed one individual but when we were there on Saturday there were two booths occupied by homeless and no security was visible.

I understand that people are homeless for one reason or another however it is difficult to accept that they are being allowed to occupy booths in a fast-food location while there are paying customers looking for a seat so that they can enjoy the food that they just purchased. The Tim Horton's on Clifton Hill is always busy and there is also someone looking for a seat no matter what time of day you go so having a booth or two occupied by someone that isn't purchasing anything from the location, doesn't help either. There needs to be a better way to manage how is sitting in the store and for how long because there are lots of people that want to sit down even a few to just eat their food and then head out carrying their beverage.

So, when you are out and in a fast-food location and you see people that are taking a space of a paying customer, maybe mention it to management and they can do something about it. I totally understand that the homeless need a place to rest but when a location is busy and they are sitting taking up a table or two or even four people that can be difficult especially in the locations that are extremely busy all the time.

Update: When I wrote this blog the Tim Horton's on Clifton Hill was open but it has since been closed. I have not edited this post because this happens in a lot of locations.

Why I craft

So many people ask me why I enjoy both cross stitching and knitting and I can very simply say that it helps me stitch my mind back together. That might sound very odd to a lot of people but let me explain what I am trying to say and maybe you will understand it a little better. 

For me finding that time each day to do something that makes me happy and helps me focus on everything that is going on in my life helps a lot. There are times when I can sit and work on a project either cross stitch or knitting and I can figure out the solution that I have trying to figure for quite a while before I sit down and craft. My crafting can help me regain the focus that is needed to resolve an issue that has been something that I have been dealing with for a while.

It has been interesting to see my crafting life through the years and I can say that crafting has helped me through high school, college and every other part of my life because it gives me an escape from the things that are happening in my life. My crafting has been able to bring me join when I wasn’t sure how to be happy especially when going through the exam times of both high school and college. The challenges of those times were difficult but being able to find that little bit of time to sit and craft helped me regain my focus. 

During Covid, so many people turned to crafting as a means of handling being at home all the time but for me crafting was just something that I did because it was a normal part of my life. I might have done more crafting during the time we were required to be at home, but it didn’t seem to be something that I only did when we were in lockdown.

Later in life I have found that crafting has helped me stay grounded when things has seemed to get overwhelming. Being able to focus on my crafting even for a little bit each day has helped me know that I can get through anything that life continues to throw at me. I know there are there are times I am going to need a simpler project, but I normally have one of those ready to go and then there are times that I need a challenging project.

I craft because that is part of my life and that is also what makes me happy and it something that I find helps me relax at the end of a crazy day. Maybe crafting isn’t something that everyone would want to do but we need to understand that crafting may help someone find the peace in their life when life just seems to get out of control.

Am I an Extrovert or Introvert?

So many people see me when I am out in public, they would describe me as an extrovert because of things that I do and show. I can be out there and will being to show a side of me that might not be who I am in real life. 

Now, what I am going to say for a lot of people is, I am an introvert but can show extrovert features when they are needed. Yes, that is something that a lot of people can do because they know what is needed in the world around us. Something that an introvert has a difficult time in is showing is that they can be outgoing when it is needed, they could see this as be a challenge moving forward in their career. This is something that an introvert is going to have to try and manage to just move forward in life.

For me, I can honestly say that I am an introvert in so many ways, but I will be an extrovert when it is needed of me. Sure, I can stand up in public and do talks and show the world who I am and what I can do, but then there is the part of me that takes great pleasure of being able to hide from the world and do things that make me extremely happy.

An extrovert is also going to find some of their characteristics as a challenge moving forward because if they are extremely outgoing that could also been seen as an issue especially with some careers that are more for the introvert type of individual. Compare the imagine of an accountant to a salesperson and you will probably see that one of them is most likely an introvert when the other is probably an extrovert.

I must admit that I have not seen someone that is either a total introvert or extrovert because we all need the time and space to recharge our personal battery before we got back out in public and show the world who we are when that is needed.

Why sharing too much information on social media isn't good

Imagine if you have a child or two and you are out and about and suddenly people can identify your child because of what you have posted on social media. This is a sign that you have shared too much personal information about your child. Never share their name or the activities that they are involved in because you could be putting them in risk. 

Something that you must think about is would your child want to be on social media later in life because the videos or any posts of them as a child are going to be around for years. I have seen parents that will not post anything about their child on social media and then there are parents that will show the child’s entire life which is going to be around for years to come.

If you are going to post imagines of your child on social media, make sure that they are generic and not something that shows a meltdown or even activities that they are involved in because you might just be giving away too much information about your child.

There are so many bad/sick people in the world that might pick you child as a target because of what you have posted. If you are showing a weakness about your child, you are showing the world something that could be used against both you and your child. Showing little things that upset your child can be something that you shouldn’t do because you are once again showing the world a means of influencing your child.

You must also respect your child as an individual not just part of your platform as they may not want to be part of it. Showing a child growing up on social media isn’t something that everyone wants to be part of because you could be risking your child’s career path because of something you posted when they were a lot younger. I have seen children on social media get very upset because of what they have been seen doing or even just being on any social media platform. Children do have the right to say to their parents that they no longer want to be part of the parents' social media platform and the parent's need to respect that.

One thing I would say to parents, is think about when you were younger and would you have been happy with your parents if they had shared your life on social media? Remember that things that are shared on any form of social media isn’t going to go away very quickly and especially if you have posted their name in any form. If social media can tie your child to you through social media, you might just be sharing too much information about your child.

When too many distractions get in the way

For some of us there are times that there are just too many distractions that get in the way of getting what you want completed. I know that I have challenges sometimes when everything around me seems to be a distraction and I cannot regain a focus on what I would like to try and get accomplished. It doesn’t matter if it is work related or not there are times that distractions just seem to make it difficult to focus on anything.

Trying to limit the number of things that are getting in the way of accomplishing what you want or need to accomplish can be difficult. If you have ways of turning off the distractions that would be good because that can help you regain that focus. Here are some distractions you might want to turn off:

• Music
• Email notifications
• Social media

Here are some distractions that you might have to handle differently:

• Phone calls
• People interrupting you
• Other sounds around you

When things just seem to get overwhelming and you lose your focus here are some ideas on how to manage those distractions and help you regain your focus:

• Looking out the window and not really focusing on anything.
• Putting in earplugs to limit the sounds around you.
• Finding something you can look at that isn’t too repetitive or too distractions (I watch the Port of Miami on YouTube as my way to help regain my focus).
• Get into a location that helps you focus (different room or entirely different location).
• Do something different for a few minutes to get away from the immediate task.
• Allow yourself time to just breath and get the focus back.
• Change how you make the notes, maybe change from computer to tablet or to paper as that might help you get away from the distraction.
• Change up your routine so you aren’t doing the same thing at the same time everyday.

Something that I find that helps me regain my focus sometimes is just to allow ideas to just happen and capture them in point form, or whatever way helps. When you are capturing the ideas don’t try and edit the thoughts, just allow them to happen, as you can edit them later. We also must know that there are times that no matter what we try and do it isn’t going to help at all. Another thing we have to realize is that something that works today may not work tomorrow to help you regain your focus so you will have to try different things.

We all deal with distractions and sometimes they don’t seem to be an issue and then there are going to be times when they are an issue, and we must learn how to deal with them in different ways. I know that some of the ideas that I have recorded aren’t going to help everyone, but these are some of the ideas that I have found work for me, so I wanted to get them down.

If you have any other ideas of how you regain your focus after dealing with distractions, please comment what works for you as I would be interested in hearing different ideas.

Your keys should be kept out of sight

Recently on Facebook was someone asking where they could get keys cut as they needed an extra set. That is a normal request because not everyone knows where you can get that done. People were giving lots of great suggestions and then I saw a comment that made me very concerned.

If you send me a photo of both sides of your key, I will let you know if I can cut it for you.

The reason I was so concerned about this is this is a major issue because someone with a 3D printer and a photo of a key could make a copy of the key very easily. Of course, as soon as I saw this comment, I sent a private message to the individual asking where to get keys cut to not send a photo of her keys to anyone especially someone you don’t know.

It has been shown that from a picture people (bad actors) can make copies of keys and the type of keys that can be copied very easily are the ones that use the standard blanks. It is always important to make sure that you don’t have your keys visible for someone to take a photo of them.

There are so many times that I have seen people either wearing their keys or a fob on their bag or their belt, and I think they are calling for someone to take a picture of their keys. We have also seen pictures of a security office with a window that showed all the keys that they needed to use and of course that meant the people (bad actors) could copy those keys without any problem. So, remember when you are out in public or asked to provide a picture of your keys it isn’t a good idea because that person that is right near you might not be acting in your interest but in theirs.

Seeming invisible

Lately there have been times that I have felt that I am invisible and people around me don’t seem to see that I am around. This has happened quite a few times and I am going to be highlighting a couple of these instances to show that I have been around but just not seen.

1. I opened the door at a fast food restaurant to enter.
1. The result of this was the person that was going to exit thought that the door automatically opened, so that they could leave, and they didn’t see that I was entering. I did let them know that I had opened the door for me and they just needed to wait.
2. Attending a monthly IT event and seeming invisible to someone saying hello to my business partner.
1. This has happened a number of times and this individual will walk over and reach past me, invading my person space, to shake hands with my business partner. This individual would say “Hello Sir” and doesn’t understand how he is disrespecting me.
2. I have finally called this individual out because this has happened a number of times and he needed to leave that saying “Hello Sir” doesn’t acknowledge me at all. His comment was, I said “Hello Sir” so I was saying hello to everyone.
3. Working a booth at an IT Security conference.
1. Here is another instance when I have found that I have been invisible to an individual even when there are four of us working at the booth at the same time. I must say that the individual that I am talking about is the same individual that attends a monthly and does see me. This time there were four of us at the booth and he made sure that he shook hands with the other three individuals of the booth but avoided even acknowledging me. I was standing between two of the gentlemen that were working the booth with me. One of the gentlemen noticed how I was avoided and asked why that was. My only reply was, I am not certain but maybe it’s because I’m female.

Something that I have noticed over the last little while is it depending on the individuals that you are dealing with. I have found that some individuals will acknowledge me without any issues at all and then there are the few that seem to think I don’t deserve to be respected. When you are at events or even out in public remember that everyone should be treated with the same respect.

Challenges in life

There are going to be times when things just don’t seem to go according to plan and you have to accept that things are going to be different. In our case what happened was a skin infection which changed how we handled a bunch of things.

 Of course, the skin infection came out of the blue and it resulted in three separate visits to emergency to get antibiotic injections to get the infection under control. It wasn’t just the injections it was also the various blood tests as well as a blood culture test and an ultrasound to make sure that everything was ok.

 One of the things that we weren’t prepared for was to be given a note after our first visit that we could show the triage nurse that would move things along a little faster. What the note basically said was when we got into one of the departments was we needed the doctor to look at his leg and then order the antibiotic injection so that we didn’t have to wait as long as we did the first day. Of course, the first day was a lot of test sot see if they could figure out what was happening and that didn’t bother either of us because it was normal to see what was happening. The second day was very quiet because we got into one of the emergency sections and the leg was checked out and then the antibiotic injection was given, and we were sent home.

The third injection day was when it took a bit longer and that is because the doctor decided it was time to do a few more tests to see if anything had changed. The first test was some more blood work to see if things improved and the results were the infection had improved, which was good. The other test was an ultrasound to ensure there wasn’t a blood clot and that also came back clear which was also a good sign.

Summary:

There was a skin infection which meant that there was going to be the three antibiotic injections followed by 7 days of antibiotics before going back to the family physician for another evaluation. The result was another 7 days of antibiotics and hopefully things clear up after this but only time will tell. What this basically means is that we have to try and monitor the infection the best we can and if it gets worst we need to go back to either emergency or the doctor.

When a pen colour/thickness doesn't work

This last little while I have been working on getting a to-do list written out in a journal book and I figured it didn’t matter what colour pen I used. Just moving  the list forward that was what was most important. Well, I found out that the colour of pen that I was using to write out my list did make a big difference. 

What happened was when I decided to start to rewrite my to-do list, because it has been a month since I did that I just simply grabbed a pen which I thought was similar to the one that I had been using to write out my list. I found it was black instead of blue and I figured it wouldn’t make a difference. Well, that is when things started to not go as well as I had hoped.

What I didn’t realized is that the colour of the ink does seem to make a difference, but I can’t explain what it is. It would be nice if I could figure out why I hated the black pen. It could be because it is a medium point and most of the time, I am either using a fine or a .38-point pen, so they are a lot finer than the one that I was using. What I did find was those letters seemed to be overwhelming me, and I just couldn’t seem to see what I was writing, the words just seem to take up far too much of the page and that didn’t help at all.

It ended up that I decided to step back and figure out what colour pen and what finest I wanted to work with, and I finally figured out that I needed to use a blue pen with a .25 point and that made me happy. I wasn’t sure if it was going to work but I ended up testing a bunch of pens and this was the pen that made me the happiest so that is what we went with.

I didn’t think a pen colour or thickness was going to make such a difference but what I did realize is that I need to use the pens that make me the happiest. Even if I think a pen is ok for a while, what pen do I want to use most of the time? I know that I am one of those that like the very fine pens and I am going to go back to using just those pens for most of the stuff that I do. Those pens make me happy and that is what is most important.

 

Postal Strike

Edit: This post was written during one of our many postal strikes we have had.

Here we are in a middle of a postal strike and there are going to be a lot of challenges that we all need to deal with. There are so many challenges that we need to deal with, and it will depend on who you are, what your requirements are with regards to the postal system 

Here are some of the challenges that everyone is dealing with:

• Senor citizen – if you are someone that receives either CPP or OAS cheque through the mail you will continue to receive these cheques because the government has made a progress that these cheques will continue to flow.
• Credit card statements – if you receive your credit card statements through the mail you will have to figure out how to get them electrically because they are not going to be mailed to you while the postal workers are on strike.
• New credit cards – here it is a challenge that I am not certain how it is going to be handled because there are a lot of individuals whose credit card is up for renewal, but we are uncertain how or when we will be receiving our new credit card.
• Parcels in the process – if you have a parcel that was shipped prior to the strike the parcel is currently sitting at a facility waiting to be released once the strike is over.
• I want to order something – here is a challenge that some of us are going to have to deal with and that is wanting to order something but knowing that the parcel isn’t going to be shipped for a while.

Yes, it can be a challenge when we are all dealing with a postal strike and we have to deal with a bunch of issues that might not make us happy. We might want something quickly and we have to decide if we are willing to pay the additional cost to have it delivered through courier or not. Of course, there are going to be the challenges and additional costs that we might have to incur but we need to figure out is the cost worth it or can I just wait and order it later once this issue has been resolved.

I understand that the Canada postal system is on strike because there are issues that they have issues with, but I also must say that we need a postal system that works within Canada and if it isn’t what you had in the past but something that will work in the future we need to accept the new normal. For me if I need to go a short distance to pick up my mail versus having at home delivery, I am willing to accept that. I know that there are a lot of individuals that don't want this change but when you look at a lot of the newer developments, they have to walk to a community box to pick up their mail and that is the normal for them.

Our postal strike is about the community boxes versus at home delivery and maybe what we need to see is that community boxes is what we need to keep our postal system viable. For a lot of us that are use to being able to go our own persona mailbox (at home) to get our mail is what we dealt with in the past but maybe just going out for a bit a bit of stroll to check our box is going to become our norm. I don’t mind that new option because it means that I will figure out what I get in the mail and I can get some exercise when I need to go to that box.

When juggling cross stitch projects doesn't work

I have been watching a lot of people that say that they would like to get some progress on projects, but then they bounce between multiple projects and then get frustrated that they don’t seem to be making the progress that they would like to get done. They are bouncing between the multiple projects during a week which given everything else in life, it is hard to see any progress on anything this way.

Something that I have found that doesn’t work for me is bouncing between multiple projects either daily or even weekly, because I don’t seem to see any progress on anything and that doesn’t make me happy. Sure, I might be able to get a couple of hundred stitches in a project but when I am bouncing over multiple projects in a week, when I look at the progress for the week, I don’t see much progress at all. 

What I have found is if I can focus on a project for even multiple days at a time or better yet a week at a time, I an see some good progress on the piece. One of the things that I have figured out is that each day of the week I will have a various amount of time to do the stitching so I can’t say I will get the same number of stitches completed each day. A workday of stitching versus a weekend day of stitching without obligations can really vary with the amount of time I can work on a project.

It is amazing how many people have said that they don’t seem to see a lot of progress on their stitching projects and all I can say is instead of bouncing around so much maybe spend a week working on a project and see what progress you are able to make.

I understand that depending on the project the progress from week to week isn’t going to be the same. I know that for me when I pick up a project for a week, I can quite often get just over 1,500 to around 2,000 stitches completed for the week, and I can see some good progress on the project. This is what makes me happy and I am seeing progress on a fewer number of projects.

So, if you are not seeing progress on the projects that you are working on maybe look at how often you are changing what you are working on. If you don’t give a cross stitch project enough time to even see some progress, you aren’t going to feel good after a week when you sit back and say what did I work on this week and what progress did I make on my projects.

 

Why are you asking me for details, I have posted multiple times

For people that are posting within a group please remember that admin/moderators cannot track every single person that is posting things. Recently I was told that someone had posted multiple times providing information so I shouldn’t be asking for info. Well to it put it plain and simply “we cannot track every person that is posting and who provide good information and who doesn’t”

If you are posting in a specific group, remember that posting the normal things over and over again is very important. You may think it isn’t important for each post but there are too many people that just think they can post a minimum amount of detail and that is accepted. It might be something that you don’t think is important to post each time to post a picture whoever n this group that information is extremely important.

Within a lot of groups when the admins/moderators are asking for details to be posted for each post they are asking this because too many people are not providing information. If you happen to miss posting the information and get a question about the details don’t get upset because the admin/moderators cannot track every person and every post that they are posting in the group. If you have missed providing the information either edit your original post or provide the additional information to help everyone in the group.

This is a comment that I received in a group, and I was just asking for them to show that they were using the app the group was about:

"sorry, but posts go so quickly, there’s no way someone would see if you posted a request and it gets buried in posts. It’s not in the group rules - it may be something to add (from someone who admins multiple groups myself). I’ve scrolled down through the group quite far and see no posts requesting this so maybe add to the rules or pin it or something. One would think that people wouldn’t post or even be in this group unless they were using the app. Not trying to be difficult at all, but please understand as an honest person it was really jarring to be questioned like that instead of celebrated. Leaves a really bad taste."

There is a new rule that has been added to the group that people must provide information about the pattern they are using and if they are using the app. 

People think that some people will only post within a group if they are using the app but there are too many posts that show that people are not using the app but just want to try and promote a pattern, a designer or something else. It is rather difficult as a moderator/ administrator of a group to totally manage everything and when we ask a simple question, we are just trying to protect the group.

I understand that you might think that you are posting correctly but remember that the admin/moderator of each group is going to have different times that they can allocate to monitoring the group so if they ask you to provide information, please just do t hat because it is in the interest of the that group not every other group. You might have provided the designer but not the actual pattern name so that is something else that you have to be aware of.

It is rather difficult for a group admin/moderator to be able to track everything so yes it might not be in the rules currently but if they are asking for some more details don’t assume that everyone else is doing thing correctly. Simply provide the information and then privately message the admin/moderators to let them know you noticed something that was missing in the rules. Being polite and part of a group can make a big difference, if you star to challenge ethe admin/moderators you might find out that this group isn’t for you.

When a team jells

There are going to be times when a bunch of people that have different skills get together to form a team. It doesn’t have to be a formal team but is a group of four individuals that get together to be a team when there is a booth that needs a team.

This team that I am talking about is a group of four of us that jelled together to make sure that we were able to form a team that was able to be there for a booth and we all have different thoughts and ideas and knowledge so that means it is going to be challenge in some areas. It can be a challenge to make sure that everyone can work together to make sure that the booth functions to the level that is required but it doesn’t take long to see when a team starts to jell.

It is easy for a lot of people to jell as a team and one of the biggest things is knowing that everyone has the same common goal. The goal can be as simple as promoting a community group or any thing else, but you need to know that the goal is the same for everyone that is part of the team.

In our case it is promoting a community group where there are a lot of individuals that might now know about the group but have told to come by a booth to find out about this group. There are also the people that have heard about the community/group but haven’t joined because they aren’t certain if the group is a fit for them.

What is extremely important to say is that you need to figure out how to join a group and then after that figuring out if this group meets your needs. Not every group is going to be there for you or your needs, but you need to give it a bit of time because what you see in social media immediately after joining might not be what you see moving forward. Being able to make sure that you have been able to evaluate the group outside of a couple of ports is very important. A couple of posts might make you feel unwelcome but after that you might feel like you are part of that group and you have found a group that you enjoy participating in.

Dementia/Alzheimer's journey times 2

For those of you that have gone through a Dementia and/or Alzheimer’s journey once I am going to say I know that it can be a challenge, because we have been through that and we understand the challenges. We aren’t going to say that we know what you went through because every journey is different, and we have seen that. What we have been through is two different journeys and both of them have been so different.

The dementia/Alzheimer’s journey is going to be different for everyone because there are signs that we may have missed and different routes that this journey is going to take moving forward. I know for example we have gone through two journeys, and both have been entirely different. We went through a journey through Covid that was extremely fast, and it went from first being diagnosed with dementia in a March and then losing my dad in the January of the next year.

The first diagnosis was frontotemporal dementia (FPT) and that is something it can happen rather quickly and that is what we experienced. We went from having a dad that was able to manage his life and understand all the different things to someone that wasn’t able to understand that we were there visiting him. My dad was always hungry no matter what much food he had because his system wasn’t able to communicate to itself that he had food, so he just wanted to keep eating.

The second diagnosis of dementia wasn’t fullly diagnosed until very later in the journey because no doctor wanted to say that my mom had dementia because that was something they didn’t want to sign on a dotted line about. The basic thing we heard was given my mom’s age she was just old, and all the symptoms pointed to her age. What is funny about all of this is during all this my mom was living on a memory care floor which was for someone that had dementia or cognitive impairments. She hadn’t been diagnosed formally with any of this until I had to talk with a geriatric nurse who finally said that yes, mom had dementia, and it was recorded as a formal diagnosis.

I had been fighting through the system to figure out what was wrong with my mom because no one wanted to say yes, she had dementia/Alzheimer’s even through she was showing all the signs. If someone is put onto a memory care floor in a senior’s care residence, make sure you ask a lot of questions because they are there for a reason.

One thing to be aware of is that if someone is getting a lot of medial assistance make sure you have got the written/official diagnosis as it can make a big difference with regards to income tax. This at least applies to those living in Canada.