Knowing who you are

Lately, I have spent a bit of time thinking about what makes me happy and what doesn't.  It can be very difficult to face some of the things that you have hidden in the back of your mind for way too long, but it does help.

Being able to accept that things aren't always going to work the way you want is important when you want to make yourself happy.  Knowing that you are going to hit some bumps in the road is another thing to accept.  The outcome can be that you are able to face the things that have bothered you in the past and put them back in the past instead of dealing with them continually.

For so many years, I have been a person that put everyone else before me and never did things that I wanted.  Lately I have started to do things for myself and does it ever feel good.  Having the strength to say that I am important has been something I hadn't done in the past.  Now I am saying I am important, and I need to focus some time on things for myself instead of always for someone else.

Knowing what makes you happy can really make a difference on how you deal with things.  I continue to run into situations that get me frustrated and down, but I know I am who I am.  The situations may set me back a little bit, but at least the setback isn't nearly as far back as it was in the past.  I continue to think of the goals that I have and want to achieve in the future, and now I can say the future isn't so far ahead anymore.

New projects are now on the horizon for me, and I think I am finally able to say I am ready to accept these new projects.

Demanding perfection

I am one of those individuals that has demanded perfection from myself in whatever I do. I am not saying I just need to get something done, I need to have it perfect before I am happy with it. Ok, what I am saying is I basically demand 125% out of myself and a lot of the time 100% out of anyone else.

So, you can see there is a major problem with this thinking, and it is very stressful on me. I was brought up being told if you can't do your best, why do it at all. So, I have developed the need for perfection out of myself and those around me. Over the last little while I have come to realize that 100% isn't always achievable and time will just not allow it to happen. Knowing that I can handle not being perfect has been very difficult for me.

I know that I get really upset sometimes when I can't achieve even close to 100% when I am working on something. I take courses and so often I exceed what is expected on the assignment because I have to do what I think is enough. Currently, I am taking a course, and we are given a word count for our assignments, and it is very difficult for me. I want to write a lot more than I am allowed because I think I need to include more detail before the assignment is good enough.

Yes, I still demand a high level out of myself but have realized that as long as I try my best it is good enough. Trying to be perfect all the time isn't what I try to achieve any longer, as I realize my 100% far exceeded what others expected of me.

So, remember 100% is great but it is very difficult to achieve.

Being a friend

Being a friend means a lot of different things to different people.  A friend can be someone you hang around with all the time, or it can be someone you rarely see.

A friend should be someone that is there for you in good times and bad times.  You should also be there for that friend in both the good and bad times as well.  A good friend is someone you can talk to, and they listen.  This person is also there to support you when you need that support, but is also there to give you the kick when it's needed.

It is amazing when you find friends in ways you never expected.  It can be an online friend who you rarely see or a co-worker that you sit nearby.  Having a friend when you need one is very important.  It is also important to be a friend when you are needed.

Knowing who your true friends are is very important, because you don't know when you could need them.

Just remember, being a friend goes both ways.

Understanding others

Lately I have been extremely busy trying to get a lot of things off my to-do list.  I have also gone through something that affected me personally, so it did take quite a bit of my time and energy.  The personal thing meant that I haven't been as efficient as I would have liked to be, but things do happen that change what you can do and how quickly you can assist others.

This week I have been trying to get back to normal, but I am finding it rather challenging.  Yesterday was when I think I hit the frustration wall.  People are telling me to take it easy, and I will get things done when I can, but in the next breath they are asking for more and more things to get done now.  I understand that part of this is because things need to be passed onto me so that I am aware of them, but if I have answered the question, please don't keep asking me when it will be solved.  I have told you it has been solved, and it is just going to take a bit of time for the effect to finally calm down.

It is so amazing to look at what I have been able to accomplish even in the last few days.  Sure, it isn't as much as I would have liked but at least I am getting small things done.  Now to see what I can get completed today, and then maybe I can say I am getting back to normal.

Stepping back and rethinking

There comes a time when you need to step back and rethink all your different priorities. This has happened to me, and I have had to rethink some of my goals as well as my priorities. I was one of those people that had to please everyone in the past, and I didn't care if I was happy or not. Doing this causes a lot of problems because you don't really feel happy when you are doing some of the things you have agreed to do.

Being able to rethink your goals is a project because you have to think of why you are aiming for that specific goal, was it to please someone else or to please yourself. It does take some time because it can also mean redoing the goal so that it is more for pleasing yourself. Some goals just get deleted because when you realize you aren't going to achieve it and be even a bit happy, there is no point in doing it.

I was one of those people that had to please everyone, and I would forget about pleasing me. I came to realize that there are some people that no matter what you do you will never please them, so why try. This step was a huge thing for me to realize, and since doing that I have felt better and have given up trying to please these people.

I now have goals that are for me and help me be happy. I am not saying that you put yourself first all the time, I am saying you need to remember to do things that please you as part of your life. How you feel is very important because if you aren't happy, you can't really make others happy, or at least the people that count.

Where has the word "thanks" gone

Yesterday, when we were out and about, I heard a very interesting comment from someone.  "Where has the word thanks gone."  That is so true because so often people don't remember to say a simple thanks when you do something for them.

Maybe I think about this the wrong way, but I think part of this is the "entitled generation" that expects people to do things for them without having to say thanks.  I know not everyone in that generation is like that, but it is frustrating when such a simple word is missed.  A simple word can really make a difference on how you are dealt with and respected.  The situation yesterday was an eyeglass salesperson adjusted a girl's glasses that had been bent out of shape.  Something that does take a few minutes and meant the girl could see better once it was done.  Neither the parent nor the girl said thanks, and considering there were no cost, thanks would have been really nice.  The sales person then after not getting a thanks turned and said "you're welcome" making it known that the family hadn't said anything.  The father looked a little shocked and then said thanks, but the girl never did.  I guess it really says a lot about how people deal with others.

I know the word "thanks" isn't a big deal, but it can make such a difference to how people respect you and deal with you.  Maybe just acknowledging what someone did for you with those 6 letters could make a big difference.  I know when someone says "thanks" to me for something that I have done, I feel appreciated.  Sometimes what I did wasn't such a big deal, at least I know the person appreciated what I did for them.

Remember, say "thanks" and let someone know you appreciated what they did.

Some days

Well, there are some days that I think I should just go back to bed and hide and let the day just pass me by.  Today was one of those days and I have to admit that after just two hours of working I wanted to turn off my computer and blackberry and let the rest of the day just happen without me.

I think everyone has those days every once in a while, and I just happened to hit it very hard this morning.  I have been able to deal with all the issues that have hit my desk the best way I could.  I know some of the issues still aren't resolved, but at least I have started that process to ensure everyone is happy and all the issues have been dealt with.

Knowing that I can get things resolved does make me feel happy, knowing that even when things are going crazy around me, I can still get things accomplished.  I may not be working as quickly or efficiently as I normally do, but at least little things are getting done.  OK, my to-do list today has just got longer, but at least I know what I need to work on and hopefully will figure out a plan of attack later.

Some days are crazy, but at least I know that things will get better, and I will get things accomplished.